Two new dreams from my last session with Christa.....
I am in NJ at my parents house and Laura and Noah and the crew are there doing Rooting Shen treatments. There is a knock at the door and it is Ioan Gruffyd (the Welsh actor) and I think that he is here for a treatment...but no, he just wants to see me. The Rooting Sheners decide that they want to go over to the beach and I give them directions about how to get there. Ioan and I then go into the bedroom and lay down face to face on the bed and he is very tender and intimate with me. Later I go up into the attic with him and notice that the chimney and foundations of the house are crumbling and I realize that the house is going to collapse.
In the next dream I am in NJ wading through the ocean in Beasley's Point Bay. A woman in the toll booth on the bridge above me hails me about paying a toll to cross the water. I then make my way to shore and try to pay but I don't have my check book and then I get lost and on and on it goes.
The second dream is showing a trauma trigger...a simple gesture from a person in authority can make me feel like I've done something wrong...oh, my god...what did I do....don't punish me. Maybe the woman was just waving hello but I am still living with one foot in trauma land and the smallest thing can send me back to the feelings of panic and terror.
But then there is the Animus - showing up as Ioan Gruffyd, a sweet gentle man who is coming to my old childhood home - the site of some sexual trauma from this lifetime - to show me that this house is ready to collapse and I can be free of those wounds as long as I stay with Him.
My homework is to stay locked with Him in that gaze in all aspects of my life ....and to notice the places where I still can be triggered into the old trauma.
This new collage shows what the trauma world feels like on the left and what it feels like to fall into the gaze of his love and support.
and a new poem....
We are laying face to face.
I look into your eyes, you look into mine.
That is all there is .....our gazes locked together,
the current of love passing from one to the other.
Electricity, pulsing,
Sparks fly.....like a comet exploding in the dark night.
The flow emits a golden glow....
and all my being rides on that river of light.
Wave after wave,
Breath after breath.
There is no yesterday, no tomorrow,
only this moment of being consumed by the fire in your eyes,
mirroring the fire in mine.
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